I don't think anyone truly realises how fast time goes until they have children. The amount of times I shrugged it off when I was hearing once again during my pregnancy how fast the time goes, how quickly they grow up, how you should treasure every moment - even the sleepless nights - because you wake up one day and they're not babies anymore! Well bloody hell were they right.
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| EZRA 1 HOUR OLD |
In 4 days my baby will be 9 months old and I quite literally cannot fathom where the past 9 months have gone and how on earth my little 8lb 4 & a half newborn has turned into this handsome, funny, crawling little monkey. I will admit I am one of those mothers that gets emotional at the next milestone & the thought of his 1st birthday lurking in 3 months makes me feel quite sick! Ezra crawled for the first time just over a week ago and my reaction was to firstly shreak in delight at how clever and amazing this baby I had created was, to then feel as though I wanted to burst into tears that yes, we had once again reached another super exciting milestone and another reminder that my baby was growing up! I truly hope this is just 'first baby problems' because I can't cope with having this ache in my womb when I have more babies that I get every time Ezra learns something new and another month passes and I see my baby growing up into a little boy. My hormones are clearly all over the place and I definitely need to pull myself together & get out of this 'broody' phase which I'm sure will make an exit pretty quickly once we hit the terrible twos! I just love being a mother, it's something I'd never given too much thought about before and never something I thought was 'me.' I had in fact always said I wasn't bothered about having children when I was younger, I was never the one to coo over a baby in the pram or be desperate to hold the new baby in the family - I had just thought I wasn't very maternal. Now that I am a mother and I have my beautiful son, it is the best title and role that I will ever have in my life. It has changed me as a person for the better; my perspective on the world is different, my capability to love and of course my patience! I loved being pregnant, and although it was horrendous at the time, for some strange reason I can't wait to get to experience giving birth again - I felt like superwoman afterwards and the rush of love and hormones that are coursing through your body I'd just never felt anything like it.
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| CHRISTMAS EVE 2015 |
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| EZRA 6 WEEKS OLD |
I suppose I'm yearning for the early days when Ezra was teeny, tiny, rather than bursting to have another as the sleepless nights are not something I'm eager to return to in a hurry! My partner is turning 30 in a couple of weeks so we joke regularly that his 'biological clock' is ticking. He can't wait to have children & I think being around Ezra and spending so much time with him has completely opened up his eyes to being a parent! He sees the food up the wall, the poo explosions, the 3am wake up calls when teething strikes, then the 6:30 wake up call and we're up for the day, me losing the plot because I have a pile of washing and ironing up to the ceiling, the house is a tip, Ezra's whinging and I haven't washed my hair for a few days (he's seriously a saint) - like I tell him regularly, Ezra is the best contraception I've ever had, never will I miss a depo injection haha! - but he also sees the moments of pure love and adoration between me & Ezra, the cuddles first thing in the morning, the 'milestones' that he's gotten to be there for, and the smiles and giggles and I know he can't wait to expand our little family one day & I truly look forward to sharing that with him in the future. But for right now, we're enjoying every moment with Ezra (with me quietly blubbering in the background) and although it's hard seeing your baby grow up, it's amazing too and I can't wait for the many milestones we have ahead of us. You will forever be my baby, Ezra James.
Amber xo
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| MY BABY NOW |
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